Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Whiteness


Until a couple of years ago, I had been under the impression that the vast majority of white Canadians were against fascism. It appears that I was wrong.

When I think about it, the manner in which fascism and Nazism more specifically were discussed when I was growing up was very much about absolving regular people of responsibility. When questions arose as to how the people could have allowed the rise of Hitler, we were told that charismatic people can easily persuade an anxious public, or how the Holocaust could have been carried out, we were reassured that fear kept people silent. We needed to believe in the innocence of the common person just as some of us need this now when we frame discussions of racism in individual terms: “Here is proof that individual x is racist, but here is also proof that individual y is not, so you can’t say that there is a racism problem.” The same can be said for when our leaders frame the discussion in terms of choosing love over hate or “calling out” individual racist incidents while keeping the racist power structure intact. Culturally, we think in individualistic terms, and yet we accuse those who want to challenge the status quo as being divisive and creating disunity, as if there were some pre-existing unity to disrupt.

For years now, with the rise of far-right governments throughout the world, ongoing antisemitism and Islamophobia, continued anti-Black violence on the part of police, increased anti-Asian bigotry and violence, and reactions to the current protests in the United States that seem more concerned about respectability and capital than people being killed and maimed by police, it has seemed like “Never Again” is just a slogan. And it isn’t due to fear of fascists that we largely remain silent and continue on this path. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be enough fear of fascism. Rather, it is indifference that is enabling the rise of the far right.

Something that no one talked about either in school or at home when I was growing up was whiteness. There is a good reason for that: the education system and my home were both presided over by white people. And white people do not tend to see ourselves as “white” so much as “people.” Thus, the term “racialized people” is used expressly to highlight that others are racialized in relation to whiteness. But white people are finding it increasingly difficult to distance themselves from conversations about race, and thank goodness for that. Nonetheless, when the topic of racism is raised in Canada, someone will jump at the opportunity to shout out ignorant “All lives matter” types of platitudes, which do nothing but derail the conversation to keep white people comfortable.

If you grew up in a white liberal household like I did, you were probably taught that colour blindness was the right approach to looking at the world. As well-meaning as that sentiment is, as a friend of mine once said, “I don’t see colour” translates to “I don’t see racism.” If you falsely believe that everyone is on an equal footing, then anything negative that happens to someone must be of their own doing, and anything positive must be the result of their merit. To put it another way, colour blindness is a way of saying “I don’t see whiteness and the problems it causes.” The fact that white people simply take themselves as default human beings shows an unwillingness to recognize that other people might have different experiences, again reinforcing the idea that whatever happens is your fault. More than that, it shows a lack of interest in engaging with people who are different and building real communities and societies where people really are just people.

Whiteness is also seeing evidence on a daily basis that we live in a white supremacist society—where upper-middle-class white voices dominate the media; where our predominantly white politicians talk about “illegal immigration”; where opinionators on social media plant false ideas that Canada treats asylum seekers better than Canadian citizens; and where Indigenous, Black, and other racialized people are discriminated against and in some cases criminalized—and feeling indifferent about it. If you are indifferent to the experiences of others, then you cannot claim to see/treat everyone equally.

In Canada, we tend to think of colonialism as something that happened in the past rather than an ongoing project. What’s more, since it enabled our ancestors to settle here, for our own comfort we side-step the horrors of this fictitious place called “Canada” and focus instead on things that make us feel good, like multiculturalism. And as people who inhabit particular borders tend to do, we raise our flag—that ostensibly non-threatening maple leaf—and claim it as a symbol of our unity or our “nation.”

We do not live in a nation. We never did. Our state was created by enacting violence against nations and giving those who survived the option of assimilating or being forever enemies of the state. The word “nation” is often used interchangeably with “country.” They are not the same thing. A quick search will show you that. But our lexicon is full of words that have deliberately been misused. Take “anarchy” as another example. This word is being thrown around quite a lot right now in response to the protests in the United States. Culturally, we have long been comfortable with the popular definition that includes lawlessness, violence, and chaos. Again, a quick search will show you that anarchy actually means the absence of a state. In effect, it is a utopian ideal where people create communities for which they are responsible as opposed to the state model we live in. But it serves politicians and capitalists well to fear monger about anarchy because the world that anarchists envision has no place for those people and the violence for which they are responsible.

And that leads me to this: whiteness is violence. It wasn’t long ago that wealthy white people, like Brett Wilson (you might know him from CBC’s Dragon’s Den), were calling for pipeline protesters representing and standing in solidarity with the Wet'suwet'en Nation to be killed by the state. The RCMP were quite clear that their job was to protect the oil companies and their shareholders, not the people of this country. And this has always been so. Canadian history is not something you will learn in school; you need to do your own reading to understand what has happened and continues to happen here. The current calls to defund the police scare a lot of white people because we’ve been conditioned from childhood to believe that the police are the good guys, who catch the bad guys and keep us safe. Much like our warm, fuzzy folk tales about enslaved people escaping to freedom in Canada, these are carefully crafted stories that do not come close to providing the whole picture. We cannot continue to sit comfortably with such narratives and pat ourselves on the back for being an inclusive country even as the ever-growing list of names, like Regis Korchinski-Paquet, D’Andre Campbell, Andrew Loku, Sammy Yatim, Abdirahman Abdi, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, continue to tell us otherwise.


Resources for Further Reflection

Interview with Sandy Hudson: https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1745746499555/


Ronald Gamblin’s explanation of Land Back: http://4rsyouth.ca/land-back-what-do-we-mean/


Monday, March 2, 2020

Some thoughts on the cast of Love Is Blind

Love Is Blind cast members ranked according to the drama they delivered




***Spoilers ahead***


Jessica – Clearly, this woman wanted to be on a TV show and nothing more. She owned her role as villain right up to the end. ‘Messica’ indeed. Moving on…

Kelly – The surprise villain! Something was obviously off. At one point, when she talked about having had issues with sex in the past, I felt for her. Then the truth started to come out that actually, she wasn’t physically attracted to her fiancĂ©… because he wasn’t a brunette. And this was after several declarations about how attractive she found him. Umm… okay. In the end, she made it seem like she left him at the altar for superficial reasons, and she trotted off with a smile. Cold.

Damian – Am I the only person who got creepy vibes from this guy? He looked angry for much of the time, even when he wasn’t in a fight. Close to the wedding, he said he was going to exert more control, and he seemed resentful of Giannina. This is not a stable person. He was drawn to Giannina’s intensity and yet he threw it in her face at every turn and blamed her for all of their issues. Nope. Not okay.

Mark – This guy seemed like a genuinely nice person, but I have a hard time believing that he tolerated Jessica only because he was too nice and in love to see her for what she was. There has to be more to the story. Maybe he, too, just wanted to be on a TV show. Here is the thing about all reality shows: the people who get screen time are always conventionally attractive and often have acting/modelling aspirations or experience.

Diamond – I was on her side a little bit initially. I didn’t think it was a good idea for Carlton to propose to her while he was agonizing about keeping his sexuality a secret from her. Then, when they arrived in Mexico, Carlton was acting like a completely different person. I kind of felt bad that she was going to have to bear what seemed like his deep issues with himself and be confused. But then during that fight that ended their relationship, the biphobia/homophobia jumped out. And no, he should not have called her a bitch, but no one that I have seen post online has mentioned her comment about him getting another dick when she stormed off. That was toxic and only proved him right in his insecurities. A lot of discussion has ensued online about whether refusing to date bi/pan people is just a “preference.” It’s perfectly fine to say, “I’m straight and I’m looking for a partner who is also straight,” but when you do mental gymnastics to try to come up with a justification for disregarding people of fluid sexuality, that is another story. It’s as if cisgender heterosexual men don’t cheat all the time! But this is why queer people should ideally not seek acceptance from straight people and should, instead, seek love and companionship from fellow queer people.

Carlton – As a queer person, I saw Carlton in his first scene. I knew he was one of my people and I knew this was going to create drama. And Love Is Blind was just that predictable, so I wasn’t wrong. My first red flag with him was when he said that he wanted a wife because women provide a “nurturing love” that he just couldn’t get from a man. Let me clarify that there is no one way to be bisexual/queer/what have you. Contrary to what a lot of people seem to think, it is not being equally attracted to multiple genders. It is fine for a man to be more sexually attracted to men and more romantically attracted to women, but when you phrase it as though women are some inherently more “marriage-material” beings who are going to take care of you emotionally, so you choose to give up men, that is weird. In addition, his constant references to “the past” kind of echoed that idea that he was going to give up men and commit to a wife. That doesn’t sound like someone who is truly comfortable with his sexuality. Then after seeing him happy and feeling loved, the audience got to watch his unravelling, and as a queer person, this made me uncomfortable. I felt empathy for him. It is hard enough to navigate relationships, but when you throw in insecurity about whether the other person can accept you for you (and it didn’t always seem like even Carlton accepted Carlton), it can be a recipe for toxicity. And that is exactly what we watched unfold. As I said above, Carlton suddenly seemed like a different person outside of the pods. He was clearly struggling internally and projecting hubris. Then he got really torn up and told the truth and immediately showed signs of poor coping skills (throwing his hat and shouting when nothing negative had happened yet). Then after crying that he hoped they could talk it out, he was immediately defensive and changed his tune from “people always reject me because of this” to “you’re the only one who’s ever had a problem.” I just hope that Carlton meets a kind, loving, emotionally stable, queer person. He shouldn’t be asking for “acceptance” from straight women anymore.

Giannina – Yes, she was intense. I think the audience has largely misread her. She was transparent about her issue of pushing people away, and that was what she was doing. It isn’t as if she didn’t have reasons to feel insecure. Besides the fact that she was supposed to marry this person she didn’t really know yet, Damian’s family chose not to meet her before the wedding. Damian told her that his mom had said not to marry “some whore from a reality TV show.” How would you feel? And as I said, Damian was creepy! The man was initially quite emotionless and for the duration of the show, he was hard to read. Even during the wedding, that crying looked like it had an underpinning of anger, and he continued to try to control the situation after dumping her by following her and telling the camera people that he didn’t think their relationship was over—after ditching her at the altar. Red flags! Her mother was right: she should have been the one to say “I don’t.”

Amber – She was open and honest with her fiancĂ© about her financial situation and he was ready to go ahead and marry her. So, I don’t see a problem. And that was really the closest thing to drama with her. I don’t see the big drama others are seeing.

Barnett – His indecisiveness was the most real of anyone on that show. But I think he knew ultimately that he wanted to be with Amber. He wasn’t that interesting, to be honest. They tried to make him interesting by having three women vying for him.

Cameron – It took me a while to warm up to him. He just didn’t give off much of anything. Anyway, when he was out in the world with Lauren, he seemed really sweet and committed, and he won me over.

Kenny – He seems like a decent person. But he wasn’t very interesting, so I don’t think Netflix gave him much attention except to remind us that he was the only one* who wasn’t getting laid. (* That was the message, but I sincerely wonder whether Jessica and Mark ever actually had sex either. Jessica was so fake in general and her description of their sex life seemed equally fake.)

Lauren – My favourite on this show! She is gorgeous and funny and just seems genuine. I was rooting for her from the first episode!