Overdue sex-ed reform in Ontario

The Government of Ontario is finally updating its sex-ed curriculum, which has remained stagnant since the late 1990s. It tried to enact reform in 2010, but faced strong opposition from religious groups. Today, the provincial government is vowing not to back down. The most common comments that I have read from everyday citizens/parents is that they feel sex-ed should come from the home.

Of course, parents should have frank conversations with their kids about the physical and emotional changes they all experience, and about what they’re looking at and doing online. But do all parents do this? How comfortable are parents with discussing topics related to sexuality and sex with their kids, and how many kids feel at ease asking their parents about these things?

I remember when my mother had “the talk” with me. It was accompanied by an illustrated book from the library, and it was the most awkward conversation we had in the 28 years that we got to share with each other. And that was long before the Internet age. There are many more topics to cover today. My mom didn’t discuss pornography or sexting with me; the former was something that she could prevent me from accessing, and the latter didn’t exist. This is significant because the parents preparing to have “the talk” today didn’t face the same issues their children face.

Another key addition to sex-ed in Ontario is the subject of consent, which is due to children themselves asking for such discussions to take place. If the kids themselves want this to be part of their curriculum, what’s wrong with it? Adults, too, might benefit from some lessons on what consent and rape are, given some of the response to the Rehtaeh Parsons case, as just one example. I reflect on this example often. I was a 15-year-old girl once, and it honestly hurts me to know that people are so quick to believe that a 15-year-old girl would consent to being part of a gang bang.

My favourite comment that I have seen from a concerned citizen was one accusing Premier Kathleen Wynne of “hypersexualizing” our children by enacting this reform! I couldn’t help but laugh! Disseminating information and answering questions is hypersexualization?!? This is the old if you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist logic that has been used in relation to important issues such as teen pregnancy and racism.

As if humans experience feelings and urges because we are told to do so! Nonsense. Such misguided thinking overlooks the fact that children and adolescents are intelligent beings. I had several heated discussions in the past with a particular person about whether it is right to discuss with kids what it means to be transgender. The notion that mentioning that there are people in the world who are transgender or intersexed will confuse kids and make some of them want to change their biological sex is utterly ridiculous. What is confusing is when kids lack information about subjects that puzzle them.

Education is the most important thing in this world, and kids are far more intelligent than adults often give them credit for. When they are equipped with knowledge, they have the tools to make the right decisions.

Those who are resistant to change in the education system could perhaps learn a little something themselves.