International

Inhabiting two worlds is a little odd. Every time you leave one for the other, something in you switches off or gets left behind. You may have to speak another language and/or dialect, you may have to hold back where you would otherwise not think about your actions and words, you have to learn to readjust, and most importantly, you have to say goodbye.

I’ve been doing this for more than a decade. As exciting as it can be, and as grateful as I am for having this incredible, enriching life, I am constantly testing my limits and those of the people who care about me the most. Yet I keep reminding myself that what I gain far exceeds any loss that occurs in the process of leaving.

It is always strange, albeit familiar, to wake up in a different bed, in a different house, in a different country for the first time in a while. It can feel like something you’re observing, rather than something you’re experiencing first-hand. It’s like those 24 or more hours of travelling fade away and you’re left wondering what the hell happened, before seamlessly resuming your life in that place. Well, almost seamlessly; there is the unavoidable jet lag that messes with you and reminds you that you were indeed somewhere else yesterday.

I never really had any expectations about my life being easy or difficult. That must help me live like this. There have been times when I’ve envied others, but if this wasn’t my reality, where would I be? What would I be doing? Who would have taken up the position of my extended family? Would I be happy with myself? It’s best to deal with what one has, as opposed to wondering what might have been under different circumstances. There are things in life which we can control and others which we cannot. I have very little to complain about.

So, I won’t complain.