Unfix Your Labels

Imagine going on a blind date in the dark. You must navigate a blank space, and really listen to your date to get a sense of who he or she is. Imagine the depths that you could reach in your conversation without the interference of superficialities. Imagine having this freedom to open up and allow the other person to interact with the real you.

Could you do it, or would you ask questions, like in a job interview, coaxing your date to label him- or herself as x, y, or z?

We are supposed to choose a finite number of adjectives from an infinite list of possibilities to neatly and concisely define ourselves. Since I work with language for a living, I appreciate the ability to describe oneself using as few or as many words as possible. But why do we attach labels to ourselves? Is it to understand ourselves or to make ourselves understandable to others?

Understanding myself has relied largely on playing with labels and then abandoning them when I find them limiting. Further, allowing others to rely on labels to understand me has always led to misunderstanding. Rigid definitions tend to lure people into a false sense of comprehension without doing the work of probing.

For example…

I’m not particularly patriotic. I like Canada, and I’m happy to have been born in Canada. But do I think it’s “the greatest country in the world”? Well, no, because I don’t believe that such a place exists. We all fit in in different places. Those who feel comfortable in Canada should settle there; if they would rather be elsewhere, they should settle elsewhere. I have lived abroad, and I was happy. I think I can be happy in many different places.

I have no burning desire to alter my relationship status. I am financially independent, and I don’t need to conform to anyone else’s norm.

I eat whatever I feel like eating, whether the ingredients were removed from the ground, plucked from a bush or tree, or came from an animal. Sometimes, I go for long stretches of time where I eat a plant-based diet, and then I might crave a burger or some spicy chicken, so I have it.

I am left-of-centre, but I feel no allegiance to a particular political party. My membership to one of Canada’s main parties lapsed not long ago, and I have no desire to renew it, as I want the freedom to vote any way I please.

I believe that the universe is too amazing to just be an accident, but I embrace no organized religion.

Not so neat and tidy.

Yet non-compliance when asked to define oneself can make the inquisitor uncomfortable, in turn, causing discomfort for the subject. At various stages of my life, labelling myself has made me feel vulnerable or empowered. Today, I feel free—free of needing to define myself, free of worrying about what anyone thinks, free of pressure from others to do or be any particular thing.

It’s fanfreakingtastic!

I recognize how privileged I am to enjoy the freedom to be myself. I am under no pressure from family members or society to do any particular thing with my life.

This isn’t to suggest that I don’t use labels. If you read any prior posts, you will know that I have indeed referred to myself as various things. It’s unavoidable. But these are mere details.

I largely reject the idea that we should categorize ourselves. Perhaps this works for some people, but it has never felt right to me. I am—as we all are—so much more than boxes to tick.